My Birth Story

Hello!! I am Ashley thanks so much for taking the time to explore my website and learn more about me! I gave a little break down about me on the "About" page but here is a bit more about my pregnancy journey.

We found out June 1ST 2021 that we were pregnant, everyone was SO excited!! This was the first grand baby on both family sides. I felt really good through my pregnancy, I felt like I was literally beaming or glowing. We found out around September that we were having a boy. I had a dream it was a boy and I just KNEW that what it was. Unfortunately and surprising to me, I did have some severe gender disappointment. I was heartbroken it was a boy. Contrary to some peoples opinions it wasn't that " I wouldn't love him" or " love him any less" as many people accused me of. But when you have a vision of your first time being a mom and it is different than what is actually happening, it can be a huge struggle.

As I came home filling my vanilla cupcakes with blue icing for my family and friends (bawling my eyes out) I also had a sense of relief. Now that I know what I am having I can properly prepare myself. I have always envied my family and friends that could keep it a secret and not find out till birth. Unfortunately I feel that if I did wait till birth it may have triggered postpartum depression for me.

Fast forward to February 2022 (due feb 6th). By this point in time I was just done with being pregnant and ready to meet this baby boy. My OB decided if didn't go into labour by February 8th that I would be induced. So sure as shit here I am still pregnant and we march on up to the hospital. So now the first problem was there was no communication about what an induction entails. We thought by that evening we would have a baby. For those of you who don't know, you go into L&D and they put a gel on your cervix, then send you home for 6 hours. Headed back home and we were both about to lay down for a nap and BOOM contractions started about 5 min apart. I was so unprepared for the pain that the contractions brought. Obviously I knew they hurt but I didn't know how they would feel (yet another thing not able to prepare for thanks to covid). Called the hospital and said were weren't to return until 6 hours later. Finally make it through and go back up to find out I'm not even dilated all the contractions were just my cervix opening. So they sent us back home for another 6 hours. By this time the contractions subsided and were about 15 min apart so we thought for sure I wasn't dialating. Only place I was comfy was in a BURNING hot bathtub. Went back up around 9pm and they admitted us as I was 4 cm YAY!!

Through the night. I was given 2 doses of some pain meds to help with contractions and to hold me over till morning and I could get the epidural. Best decision ever, medication of the gods let me tell ya. Got the epidural late morning and was one of the easiest parts of all. By noon I was at about 6cm and they broke my water. Dinner time came and went and I was at 8 cm. Then into the rest of the evening I wasn't moving from 8cm. The doctors examined me further and realized I wasn't dilating anymore, Liams head was turned sideways and pushing on one side of my cervix, he had pooped inside and I had been in labour for 2 days and there was no way I was going to have the energy to push him out. So they opted for an emergency c section. Everything went very smoothly, he was born Liam Howard Ray Lesyk at 3:50am weighing 8lbs 15oz.

Recovery was great. My nurses we phenomenal. Liam latched right away for breastfeeding, everything was a dream...... Then we got wheeled into the recovery ward. This is where things got wonky.

The impression I got from this ward was "you came here to have your baby, you had your baby, now go home". A couple hours after being in there I wasn't able to feed Liam, he stopped latching. I rang for a nurse and about 45 minutes went by and someone came, said she would go get a midwife to help me. When I tell you this lady walked in, threw a nipple shield on my bed and walked away im not even joking.

I was then told to get up and shower 4 hours after my c section (alone I might add). So I go shower, start taking my bandages off (as per the nurses request) and I see blood everywhere on the floor. So I get my husband to call the nurse, sure enough...no one comes. I still wasn't breastfeeding as he wouldn't latch, luckily I had colostrum in the freezer at home so my husband ran and grabbed them so I could feed Liam since no one else would help me. They then came in to look at my incision and it was open AND oozing in 3 different spots, now mind you I wasn't a very confrontational person nor did I know/ advocate for my rights. But I had a c-section at 3:50am on Thursday February 10th and I was sent home with my incision open in 3 places and with my newborn baby not latching on Friday February 11th at 11am.

I was given nothing, no after care for my wound, no bandages NOTHING. One very friendly nursing student came in with a half open box of long bandages and some saline and told me to put them in my pillow case so no one saw me leave with them. Now im no nurse or healthcare worker and barely know any of what goes on in a hospital and what nurses have to deal with ESPECIALLY with the covid protocol and being so short staffed. However, I feel that there is absolutely no excuse for the lack of care and compassion I received being a first time mother in the recovery ward.

Luckily my mom has lots of medical practice working in a nursing home and such so she became my homeware nurse for the next couple of months. So Sunday February 13th Liam had a follow up appointment at the hospital to double check is bilirubin levels were normal but only one parent could attend (thank you covid). I just had a c section, you think I can carry the carseat? So away my husband went with the best intentions and I was a MESS. I get a call about 20 minutes later from my husband saying "Liam is being admitted to the hospital", his blood sugar is extremely low and he's lost a lot of weight very quickly (from not eating). So again I am bawling my eyes out ( YAY for horomones!!!) and I said to my husband "put the charge nurse on the phone right now", so I get on the phone and she was basically telling me once again that only one parent was to be here with him period end of story case closed. I then proceed to say and I quote "Listen, I had a c-section 2 days ago and can barely move, I need my husband for support psychically, emotionally and mentally, my baby is trying to nurse and is sick in the hospital and I need to be there so you are going to set us in a room with a bed for myself and a place for my husband and that's that", mic drop ...... She agreed and said the best they could do was allow him to stay until visiting hours were over which I agreed with.

Once we were all in and settled we were in the paediatric unit and it was amazing. They were so approachable, empathetic, helpful and just over all genuine people. They helped me so much with nursing Liam and how to get a good latch and how to actually use a nipple shield etc.

When I tell you the hormones after birth are like coming off of a drug, it is insane! My husband was getting ready to leave for the night and he went and heated up my beanbag for me for my chest as I was engorged. He came back and once again I was bawling. He's like " what's wrong?" I said " Im just really gonna miss you", his response was "you're in a safe place, ill be back in the morning to pick you guys up". Then he pushed Liams bassinet closer to me and went to fill up my water, came back and im crying again "now what's wrong" he said, I said " I just really love him, he's so cute". He starts laughing, why don't you FaceTime your mom when I leave?" (I start crying uncontrollably) him " what in the world is happening?", me " I just really miss my mommy" (thanks again covid). Needless to say I was a hot mess.

The night went well and we were discharged on Valentines day. Our family doctor put a referral in with a lactation consultant just to keep up with all the tips and tricks of nursing. By this time Liam was 3 weeks old, we were getting the hang of nursing but I needed like a team of people just to get it done. Get to the lactation consultant who then finds out that low and behold, he's got a tongue tie. Ya, a tongue tie.... 3 weeks, how ever many doctors and no one could figure that out? So got it clipped and he was a brand new baby with nursing, no problem at all. But because of everything that happened after birth with him loosing weight etc etc it triggered SO much postpartum anxiety. I was constantly scared something was always wrong with him, endless photos and videos of his breathing, the noises he was was making the way his eyes looked. It was horrible, I was so high strung about it and felt like I was missing something or not doing enough. Thankfully I found a fantastic support group of mommies all with babies around the same age and we have been there for each other through everything, it has been a god sent. Shout out to Baby-Led Weiners!!!!

In conclusion, our healthcare system is more than just broken, its destroyed. I hope and pray that no one ever has to deal with the ignorance and dismissal that I did and I hope you get treated with all the love and care and compassion you deserve cause honey, you just birthed a baby.

I would LOVE to hear your birth stories photos etc!!